Start again with a brand new name and eyes that see into infinity

Today is a whole new day ladies and gents and I am glad that i have kicked myself into sorting myself out! I have decided that unless something amazing has happened I will be posting a blog every other day it gives me more to talk about for two national days plus whatevers going on with me.

So seeing as I missed 3 days that means I have four national days to talk about. Firstly was the  National All or Nothing Day a particular day that I like. I decided that things were going to change that I was going to change the way I feel the way im thinking how im acting basically make a big change of myself, and since making that decision i can actually say ive felt better in myself. I gave myself ground rules and some things I had to remember.
If you read my blogs a lot youl know that ive been hung up on someone that i wanted to believe there could be something there, its taken me a month of moping to realised im not what he wants and im sure hel find someone that he doest but its not me (even though i wanted it to be), and as much as that made me feel gutted I know that there will be someone for me. And as the lovely Mr Chris Burney said to me during one conversation if all else fails there is always self pleasure lol god i hope my life doesnt end like that lol. ANYWAYS since realising that im trying to become more motivated, sitting on the laptop for most of my days is doing nothing for me apart from making me sit on facebook looking at peoples profiles and making conversation with people who happen to be online.
Fuck that, since that day I have changed physically and mentally, I am forever trying to change my appearance and my hair is one of the ways that I do this for 22 soon to be 23 year I have been blonde granted I have had different colour streaks in my hair from black to purple and in 6 years I haven’t had the same colour all over. Seeing as I wanted to start over i went and got my hair dyed all one colour this colour was red, I was aiming for a stand out red but my hairdresser got worried and added some base to it so it wouldnt stand out too much so im thinking about going back and getting some bright red streaks added but we’ll see with that one.
What you think?

Ive only had my hair like this for 3 days and have had some absolute horrible comments about it but ive also had some really nice ones and as quite a few of my boys have said i look from cute to hot im happy Anyways its hair I can dye it another colour again and it’l grow which I am hoping it will do soon!
But apart from that im trying to think more positive no more what if’s and its ok to remember things but things that arnt going to happen isnt worth my time.
So all or nothing consisted of me deciding do I want to stay the way I am feeling crappy and lonely staying the person I am or do I want to sort of re-invent myself be the same me yet have more life to me, be more game for things and more active and adventurous i guess. So its all ive changed myself and how I am I cant say there will never be mopey days but there will be more good days than bad.

The 27th is National take your houseplant for a walk, or Bugs Bunny’s birthday and seeing as i dont own a houseplant i didnt take it for a walk so thats pretty much a nothing day seeing as that was the day that I actually had my hair done.
The 28th was National Milk Chocolate day , I had the lovely shift of working 6.30 am-2.30 so after work i got my pj’s on put a film on and ate milk chocolate in fact it was cadburys dairy milk as they were on offer  and here is the proof that i got through half the pack.

Today is national Lipstick day and seeing as i really dont wear it there isnt much else to say really. Im off to see Inception in a minute its had a lot of good reviews so will have to see what all the hype is about. There seems to be some quite rubbish National days that you cant exactly take part in but tomorrow is National Cheesecake day and Ive never had cheesecake before so ill be buying me one and giving it a go.
My apologies for  this not being one of the normal blogs. Hopefully they will get better as some hopefully better national days arise

“I’m alright I’m just fine and you’re a tool so, So what I am a rock star I got my rock moves and I don’t want you tonight”

Drunken Spooners

I missed my blog yesterday so obviously things are going good!
Well actually because yesterday was National Legal Drinking Age day I took it upon myself to drink and play pool and win by default. But I still drank…I just didnt take any pictures.
I thought about what I could blog about apart from more stupid facts about the legal drinking  age and everything and decided on writing about my first drinking experience which wasnt the best one when i was 15.
Now back in the day when i was 15 I hung out with some very different people than I do now. Not that theres anything wrong with them their just different from the people I’m with now I still talk to them mind because I ended up going out with one of them. But thats not the point.
I had arranged to stay over my friend Sophie’s and as tradition for anyone whos underage you have to know someone that can get you alcohol. I cant remember how we got what we got and to be honest i vaguely remember the night but what i do remember is going down on here.
Ok i used to drink crappy alcopops at home and in fact i still drink them now but that night someone had got us a bottle of vodka, the weather wasnt particularly great so we ended up in a buildings car park.
And what a lovely car park it was.
So seeing as I had never drank vodka before I didnt know my limits…and three quarters of the bottle straight. The next thing I remember was my friend Katie talking me to Mc Donalds, when i got there i fell on someones lap and ended up locking myself in the toilet. After that it involved me trying to win some guy over which seems to be the story of my life and then the rest was just a lot of throwing up lol. When everyone decided to leave someone poured water all over my arm ( i dont know why and i dont remember it) and then heading back to Sophie’s. When we got back to Sophie’s her mum answered the door and started shouting at us for coming home so late in which i stared up at her and slurred “I just wana go bed” walked past her fell up the stairs and crawled into Sophie’s room passing out on the floor.

So yea thats drunk me at 15 and to be honest I havent changed much really apart from the fact that i drink more varieties of alcohol wine is normally a bad one for me leaving me either really tired or…yea energetic So here are a few pictures of me drinking. Not very exciting sorry
In this last picture I actually have water…but then I carried on drinking after i was a mess that night!

And onto today the less interesting day of Spooners day, now its actually to do with spoonerisms. If you dont know what a spoonerism is its apparently ‘Spoonerisms are phrases, sentences, or words in language with swapped sounds. Usually this happens by accident, particularly if you’re speaking fast. Come and wook out of the lindow is an example.’ – http://www.fun-with-words.com/spoon_explain.html

Yea i didnt really understand it much either so i thought fuck it today is Spooners day and im sure people know how to spoon
But for me I have no one to spoon or be spooned lol so instead its just a picture of group drunken spooning at Joes house for his birthday.

Tomorrow is Hot enough for ya or Goegeous Grandma day and seeing as i dont have a gran itl be something to do with heat?

I will be writing another blog today after this one but that wont have anything to do with national days.

“I’m a lonely girl, I’ll tell a tale for you Cuz I’m just tryin’ to make all my dreams come true”

National Lollipop Day

Yes today is national Lollipop day im trying to get back into making my national days blogs again.

So as its national lollipop day i thought i need to go and get a lollipop so off i went to sainsburys to find out that i can only get lollipops in ‘fun bags’ which are something like £2 and ok £2 isnt much just i just wanted on bloody lollipop for today so i cheated and bough a Hello Kitty Chocolate one.

Apart from that my day hasnt been very eventful so I will now fill you with those amazing lollipop facts that i stole off other websites…

*Lollipops were first made in 1908, in Connecticut by George Smith. He had named it after a horse he fancied, Lolly Pop.

*Lollipops are made out of corn sirup and flavors.

*The most popular flavor is Cotten Candy.

*The world’s largest lollipop was certified on June 25, 2002. It weighed 4,031 lbs (with stick), measured 18.9 inches thick and was more than 15 feet tall with stick (about as tall a a giraffe). It was Cherry Falvored.

*The original lollipop machines made 40 lollipops in one minute.

*Today’s machines produce 5,900 lollipops per minute

So that was exciting! Tomorrow is legal drinking age day so i will be going to have a drink in a random pub because I am of the legal drinking age. I am hoping that instead of the odd blog now and again about my life i will be able to start writing about the national days again and hopefully take a photo for each one to do with the day like i did today with my lollipop.

Happy Birthday Mr President

Happy Birthday Mr President Happy Birthday to you. TODAY is Lincon’s birthday, just thought i would put that one out there first. I was going to put a video of Maralyn Monro singing Happy Birthday Mr President but that was aimed at JFK so i didnt bother. Plus im from the UK so the whole president thing isnt as big over here as it is for people in the USA, but i thought i would throw that one in anyway.
SO  there havent  been some very easy days to celebrate im single so i couldnt dump my significant jerk, but yesterday (11th) i was satified i was single so that worked with that day.
Apart from it being Lincon’s birthday it is also national Safety pup day. There isnt much to say about this so i did a bit of research and found the history of Safety pup because i honestly have never heard of it..

Safety Pup was developed in 1985 by the National Child Safety Council. There are currently over 9000 safety pups around the nation today and the program is designed to help save the lives of our children by education and awareness of safety topics such as stranger safety, halloween safety, bus safety, internet safety, school safety, and more. The sheriff’s office has had safety pup since 2001.

Last week was national Doppelganger  week. Doppelganger is a word from Germany which basically means any double or look alike person. Thats why people have been changing their images on facebook to famous people. Unfortunately i dont look like anyone so i couldnt change mine but i wouldnt mind looking like some famous people…preferbly Alecia Moore or as shes famously known as P!NK.

Recently I have been trying to find out more about my uni course that i have applied for. I want to know if i am moving back to Plymouth but i’m still waiting to hear back from the uni. There isnt much else thats been happening which is rubbish. Download announcements are on monday so as this week has been hectic to get it all sorted out i will definitely be making a video next week about Download and the such.
My internet is pretty bad today so i am unable to write what i want and include pictures because nothing seems to be working BUT as soon as i can i will update this blog as soon as i can.

I’m Sorry I’m Bad I’m Sorry You’re Blue

HEY YOU GUYS!

SO….its been a while i know but the days that were supposed to be great days really wernt something i could celebrate i mean Data Privacy day? how the hell are you supposed to celebrate that?! I did start a blog on the 25th but i got called away and it didnt really get far but here it is anyway

SORRY its been a while weekends i work so i am pretty much unable to write this on weekends but ill back log it with national days…on the 22nd the national day was Answer Your Cats Quesions, i dont have a cat so i couldnt answer them im afraid, national handwriting day was the 23rd,24th was national belly laugh day and today is……..
BUBBLE WRAP APPRECIATION DAY!

I absolutely love bubble wrap its amazing stuff. My best friend knew how much i loved it by giving me this

This is amazing its a bubble wrap key ring and you can press the buttons and they sound like bubble wrap and if you pop it 200 times a little voice goes YYYEEEHHAAA. AMAZING I love it loads.

So thats as far as it got pretty crap i know but today is the 1st of Feb and today is Freedom day, and to get into the spirit of freedom i went through all my old clothes and gave old clothes that didnt fit or were too small for me to charity in particular the Hospicecare as they do a brilliant job and looked after my grandparents brilliantly when they were in there. Tomorrow happens to be Groundhog day which is quite funny because i will basically be carrying on what i was doing yesterday, i will be going through my room cleaning it out more and more and donating old CD’s to Oxfam. Ive also decided that I want to start swimming again
Well maybe i wont look like that but its a bit to join my health kick so i thought why not?
At the moment my film of the day is the Goonies. Couldn’t decide what  film to watch whilst i sit and type this up so the Goonies something that is a great watch and i can look at now and again and still know what the fuck is going on! If you havent watched the Goonies before i HIGHLY recommend that you watch it.
What else? Oh yea ive finally finished Bioshock im so lame i know but still ive been watching the gameplay and heard that their making a Bioshock film was quite surprised but think it might be pretty amazing if they do, so im thinking about making a fan made Bioshock film trailer.
I feel bad that i havent even taken the time out to write this let alone making another video!
Im trying to work as much as i can and save for my holiday which i am super stoked about. Plus i am hoping to make a new video next week to talk about DOWNLOAD festival, yes its back again and ive got my ticket and looking forward to it so much. The lineup for it so far is….

Yes ACDC,Them Crooked Vultures,Deftones,Stone Temple Pilots, Megadeth, Motorhead, Wolfmother, Bullet For My Valentine, and Volbeat ticket has cost me in total so far £221 ive got a 5 day camping ticket plus my car paking plus a lovely locker. If your going let me know my friends and I are planning to dress up as wheres Wally characters so it should be quite fun might even give people a prize if they find us.

Oh and picture of the day is…(drumroll)

No reason why just makes me smile
Anwyays its time to watch the Goonies and relax.
I will write soon and video next week!

National Winnie the Pooh day 18th jan

Its National Winnie The Pooh day of course!

Sorry to dissapoint but i didnt celebrate this day purely because there was no way i could to be honest. I went online to find out how i could celebreat Winnie The Pooh day and found an amazing website http://www.wikihow.com/Celebrate-Winnie-the-Pooh-Day it basically said how you could celebrate this day and their suggestions were…
Think of how you can describe the characters personalities, so instead of thinking it i wrote it down
Roo, the joey, is hyper very curious and always looking for someone to play with (in a child like way! you dirty pervs!)
Piglet, the pig, is scared, timid and fragile even thought Piglet needs reassuring but is quite lighthearted
Tigger, the tiger, is extremely hyper but at the same time using your tail to bounce about instead of his feet… bit lazy isnt it? Aside from that hes a happy go lucky character with a lot of well bounce
Winnie the Pooh, is very thoughtful even though he may be a bit forgetful he never seems to forget where his honey is, yet he is slightly greedy in the fact that have you seen the amount of empty honey pots there are?!
Eeyore, the donkey,quite depressive and down very monotone voice and quite dull
Rabbit,the solution person who will work out problems slightly ocd and expects people to be more grown up
Owl, Not as wise as an owl should be

On top of that i couldnt find any of the episodes being shown and i didnt really do much else sorry this is crap.

Judgement Day

This blog was meant for Sunday but i was at work and then went out for a meal with family and yesterday i was  being a bum BUT i have been writing down my blogs so i can put them up here so technically im only being half a bum.

So Sunday was for me Judgement day. According to this website http://www.dayofjudgment.com/index1.html the day of Judgement is the final day of life on Earth and for the universe. But at the same time, it is the beginnning of the eternal life in the Hereafter. On that Day, people will be resurrected, created anew. Believers in Allah and the Hereafter will be hosted in Paradise, whereas unbelievers will be driven to hell…..
Well i’m still here so its not that type of judgement day. For me it where where i sit down and take a look at my life and what is happening in it, what needs to be changed what is good bla bla bla so this is what i wrote on my Judgement day.

As i chose it to be Judgement Day for me today ive had plenty to think about (especially as i had a 7 hour shift and i needed something to do before we watched Clerks II for the final few hours of our shift) and I have come to realise somethings that come monday (tomorrow) i will start to change…
On Monday my diet will start, I am going to make a healthy eating plan for the week and just start eating healthier seeing as i only have my part time crappy job im doing fuck all the other time so at least im getting something good in my body. As well as the healthy eating I will be doing fitness again and i will ache and i will probably want to stop but its not going to happen i have set myself a goal and im planning to stick to it. My appearance does mean a lot to me and i want to look good, of coure appearance isnt everything but in a day where most women are either size 0 or size elephant id rather be more towards the size 0 just in a healthier way.

Another thing is dreams and reality. This bit happens to be about a boy and i say boy because hes not worth being called a man. He knows my feelings towards him and takes advantage of this. He’l tell me sweet nothings and im putty in his hands, so when i sat down to think about these things today at work i came to a conclusion which i always knew but i guess i ignored. They really were sweet nothings and they are just empty words to make this girl who is lonely and self conscious feel like she’s somebody special. When i look at him i realise that there is a girl for him and its not me. There are men out there who are complete and utter assholes who give off this nice guy perception my ex was a perfect example of this type of person, (i say person because its not only men who are like this women can be too but their more bitchy than assholes) he would tell me anything i wanted to hear whilst he sponged off my generosity and took advantage of my devotion to him, being in a relationship obviously wasn’t the way he wanted to be and met up with apparently one other girl but he couldn’t grow a pair and tell me so he let the relationship fail and blamed me leaving me feeling that i was ruining things and struggling to make things better he lived knowing what he had done. But his sins found him out and hes gone and off with some young blue banana emo and to be honest she can have him. ANYWAYS off on a rant there.
I know some amazingly nice guys who struggle to get into a relationship and its because of these people. These men treat their girlfriends great and then badly but the girl cant get over how nicely he treated her and tries to stay with him in hope that hel treat her nice again, when he doesn’t and they break up the girl just ends up in a chain of relationships where the same things happen over and over again, why? because this is how they are used to being treated and someone treating them how they should be treated is just a pure shock to the system. These amazing guy friends that i have would treat a girl properly but arnt given the time of day and its a shame. Why dont i go out with one of them if their so nice? Slight problem, i get myself in a situation where i get so close with these guys i would never compromise a friendship that could be ruined with a relationship. I become so close with them their like family i dont think about them in that way and they dont think about me in that way either its just sort of an unwritten code i guess.

I’m just a girl.

I dont dress like a proper girly girl daily, I wear jeans and trainers to clubs, I can spend hours in the pub just hanging out with people. I love gigs and can handle myself in the pits, i fucking hate girls who make their boyfriends stay with them to ‘protect’ them because they cant handle it and complain their asses off when they are pushed or crushed. If you cant handle it get the fuck out and let someone who actually can take your place. I dont like boyfriends who get overly jealous I have mainly male friends who i will hug and dance with they treat me like family because they pretty much are theres nothing else.
If i can find someone who would…
*Actually accept me for me,
*realse i can look after myself,
*knows i will go out with a load of guys but come home to him
*Read me properly, if im sad givme me a hug or some affection dont sit there asking if im ok
*If i dont want to talk about it im not going to give me time and in return i will tell you when im ready
*Actually love me for me, not change me or get me to dress differently or more to their taste
*And finally see me as the only one, no other girls feel free to look but dont touch and ill return the favour
If i could find someone like that they i would do anything i could to keep him, but does that person truly exist or am i being picky?
This seems more like a lonely hearts collum thats no good!
Only time will tell so in whilst i spend my time searching for a place for me in life I will carry on celebrating national days and writing.

National Appreciate A Dragon Day

I hope everyone has appreciated a dragon today and if you havent why not? Dragons need love too you know! I did have a picture of me with my dragon but for some reason it wouldnt go upright so unfortunatly you are left with my single image of my dragon. I thought I would appreciate it by taking dusting it off and taking it to work so i can spread the word about it being national appreciate a dragon day.

I also planned to watch a dragon film such as Dragonheart or something of the like but im quite rubbish and didnt have any dragon films so instead it is Star Dust. I love fantasy films where the impossible is real such as stardust with the fairytale world and Underworld with the vampires and warewolves but a blog on my love of those films will be for another day. There are many choices to pick from with national days like Customer service day,Bald Eagle Appreciation day and Judgement day and a few others, but i have chosen JUDGEMENT DAY to be my  national day tomorrow, and tomorrow i will judge where my life is going and what i need to do to change it etc. and as it is a sunday i think that quite fitting.

Today i was going to talk about a particular person who i have had a soft spot for, for a very long time but i have decided that i will write about that tomorrow seeing at tomorrow will be my judgement day.

I am currently going through the trials and tribulations of booking a holiday with a good friend. The only problem is my friend can only get time off during half term so we are planning to go in April, my friend came on thursday and the plan was to spend the evening searching through holidays for April for a good deal of a holiday and book it but when my friend showed up she gave me the window of a hour as she had a date that night, it kinda put me in the situation where i had to think does my friend truly see me as a friend that she wants to go on holiday with or just a convience as she would also split her ‘precious’ time between me and someone she had never met before. Safe to say we never booked the holiday and she promised that she would come back the next day but she couldnt make it so now i will have to wait untill monday to hopefully book and holiday on monday. I was hoping that we would be able to go to Thailand but the prices are crazy i wouldnt mind going some time because i have always wanted to go to Tiger Temple but maybe if we go to Sri Lanka we may be able to go to the elephant orphanage or something, i would love to spend at least a week in the sun and possibly a week in the sun as well as doing a bit of sight seeing but only time will tell and come monday i will hopefully have a holiday booked!

But anyway tomorrow is judgement day and i will write about it then. Otherwise i have Star Dust on and i will watch it.

An Early Night For Me

Fetish day…not for me

Yet another day and another nightly blog…

Fetish day is today and i have to admit i didnt take part in it but i did find a particular image that linked today with the national rubber ducky day

a fetish duck yay!

When living in plymouth i used to watch Sexecetra with my housemates it was always something that we would watch and take the piss and be shocked at what some people have fetishes in! I mean everyone knows that there are rubber fetishes and then like bondage and sumbission and then the HORRIBLE fetish of feet, but we learnt that people can have like balloon fetishes and plushy (cuddly toys) fetishes. But thats the way people are and as long as it doesnt involve children and i dont have to see it or get involved i dont really care. Plus i really dont like feet! i cant even stand anyone touching my feet let alone wanting to lick them or anything EUGH!

ANYWAYS…

So today i didnt do loads of walking i dont feel bad about it much because i did do exorcise and i did do some walking and i did do some exorcise on my wii… although i duno if you can count that? Meh oh well. Ive had a lot on my mind of recently but luckily one thing has been cleared its just the million of other things to try and sort out.
Recently ive had a lot of people try and tell me what to do and its pretty much getting right on my nerves. I like to think of myself as confident when i want to be, quite bubbly and hyper but at the same time i can be serious and give advice when needed and things. I also believe that some things are private and should be left private, im the type of person who doesnt like to go round blabbing about my sex life and things like that i dont like to kiss and tell and i dont appreciate people telling me that because of the way i am it wont get me laid or anything like that and it does my nut.
I also have people telling me that if i wana find myself a bloke i need to get out there and do it, but its frustrating, i’m not in a situation where i am going out and meeting new people i know who i know and i know their friends and everything its tough. But im babbling and its not a good read when i blabber, too much word soup!

I put up yet another video

its not a vlog more just a montage of all the footage of me and my friends sledging in the snow even though we had it for like a few days and then it went.!

Ive just looked at the clock at its 12.24 i always start writing these on the right day and then people start talking to me and it always spills over to the next day!

So finally..tomorrow or today now is Appreciate a dragon day ill be blogging again and include a picture with my dragon!
Another day has finished and now another has begun lets see what tomorrow/today brings!

Part 2

Firstly i started this on the 14th but  took so long its now the 15th…youl still get one tomorrow tho!

So another blog to get my evening to a close. I hope everyone had a good time dressing their pets up i found some pretty insane choices people have chosen for their pets

Unfortunately mine wasnt even worth up because i couldnt find anything for my bunny i ended up putting sunglasses on her and a ring on her head to make it look like a crown…it was crap.

I have put a new video up on the tube

updates and telling people about snow, twitter and this website.

Recently ive been feeling pretty lost with myself, i dont know where im going or what is going to happen to me. Im really struggling to find a job where i can truly be happy, i have been to the job center and been told that media isnt a serious job for now so well put you down for retail work…thanks a bunch im gonna get far in life with your help. So im checkin the job site everyday and im trying to gather as much information about writing a personal statement so i can get them out asap and hopefully get at least some work experience, and at least keep things going. Staying at home is ok for so long now im pretty much sick of it, i dont get up till 10 dont get showered and changed by 12ish and then im stuck i try and do home jobs like emptying the dishwasher putting out the washing whatever but their pretty quick jobs and i can do them pretty quickly. I think i might try exorcising more getting out and taking walks might do me better and hopefully burn off some unwanted fat. Think tomorrow i will do that as well as book my car in for a service. Thats if the weathers ok to walk in otherwise i might half walk half bus lol. But then im in bed by 10/11 and then i wont get to sleep till 12/1 coz im reading or online then ill be thinking about loads and wont sleep properly. Its a vicious circle.

Ive started watching games im too scared to play bein played on youtube, how lame is that?! when i was with my ex i used to love to watch him play games like Bioshock and i loved it so i borrowed it from a housemate when i lived in plymouth, got in the underwater pod got into rapture and a splicer ran off and started whispering to me…that was it scared the shit out of me and i couldnt play it anymore. But i love watching people play it so the walk through on youtube is great for me lol, i have a fascination with this game in particular and duno why its the whole thing of how its supposed to be a reality but its totally twisted and i really like the tape recordings that you can pick up and hear different peoples stories i think thats great but i have no idea why lol. But as soon as its dark and i start hearing voices whispering and something jumps out it scares the shit out of me! im so lame.

So tomorrow is Humanitarian day or international fetish day…dont think ill be doing either really but ill definitely write another blog as its helping me loads!

my photo of the day today is…

This is me and my brother and sister in law at my brothers graduation two years ago, i like how i look there and since finding these its inspired me to grow my hair again and get myself right again. This is also aimed at my sister in law. Whenever i have a problem like i did today she helped me out and assured me that whatever happens she will try and help and she makes me feel welcome and i love her so much!
So tomorrow a new day, a new start and a new blog..See you then