And I swear it’s the last time and I swear it’s my last try


So things are possibly looking up after my rant i last had i am sorting things out thanks to legal clauses.

But i dont want to talk about that because its been ruining my days why ruin my blogs right?

Today is national Hug day and i only got one reality hug from my dad who is showing his support at my stupid mistake and i got two message hugs one from a friend on facebook and a tx from my friend sean who sends me them all the time as he is lovely!
Apart from that nothing much else for the national day…Tomorrow is national answer your cats questions day so listen carefully to the questions they ask you might not know it yourself and have to ask someone else!

I finally booked my holiday with my friend we got things sorted and are going to the Paradise Beach Hotel in Sri Lanka in April and im so stoked, seeing as the shit ive got myself in recently this holiday cannot come quick enough. When i do a early start at work like 6.30 or 7 start i start of really tired then i start to hyper up as my working shift comes to a end and nearing the last few hours of the shift i start making mistakes, i think this is the same situation in life, i went on a holiday last feb and have been grumpy tired and hyper over the months that followed and now im making mistakes which means a holiday is needed BADLY! Here are some pics i juss googled and found of the place where we are going

Im proper excited about it i really need a holiday and some sun will do me GOOD especially after such a cold winter that we are having.

Sorry this is so short my life is revolving around my incident i did yesterday!
SO until tomorrow keep on trucking!

The Shit Has Hit The Fan And Its Only The 20th Of Jan!


So i havent written a blog properly for a while and things have been popping up and happening.
A few weeks ago i applied for one of those open courses where you take your time to learn and everything, i recieved a call yesterday from a woman saying that they had someone who was going to come and interview me the next day (today) this really excited me because i thought that i would actually get somewhere in life.
The man arrived on time and started talking about the course (i applied for a game designer course) he showed me a DVD with people talking about the course and what the course has to offer and how effective it is as at the end of the day they find you somewhere to work…for me someone who cant get anywhere near the media industry this is an amazing offer. I got a bit suspicious when he asked for my proof of banking but i showed him anyway and he said that for the course they will pay the fee (pretty much £5000) as long as i paid a deposit and said that the form he needed me to sign was to say i am happy to pay the deposit. He left after giving me a load of booklets and information about the course and i left thinking that didnt feel right. I re-read the form to find out that they were gonna pay the fee as long as they take it out of my bank account bit by bit so actually i was paying the fee. I’m a bit pissed off as you can guess because it does pretty much seem like a scam and i would say it is. Ive been to my bank and sorted out that no matter what they are not to take the money because i dont have that sort of money in the first place so they said that they would call me about it when they try. I just feel so sick that this could actually happen and i feel totally stupid given the fact that its happened to me!  I thought i would write this blog to firstly take my mind off things, this could have been something brilliant and the chance of a lifetime but i just feel like such a tool now really not happy at all. Especially as the offer was posted on the Exeter Jobs website!

One things for certain though im definitely never going to do anything like this again back to working shit hours with mostly shit people and keep on trying to find something decent!

National Winnie the Pooh day 18th jan


Its National Winnie The Pooh day of course!

Sorry to dissapoint but i didnt celebrate this day purely because there was no way i could to be honest. I went online to find out how i could celebreat Winnie The Pooh day and found an amazing website http://www.wikihow.com/Celebrate-Winnie-the-Pooh-Day it basically said how you could celebrate this day and their suggestions were…
Think of how you can describe the characters personalities, so instead of thinking it i wrote it down
Roo, the joey, is hyper very curious and always looking for someone to play with (in a child like way! you dirty pervs!)
Piglet, the pig, is scared, timid and fragile even thought Piglet needs reassuring but is quite lighthearted
Tigger, the tiger, is extremely hyper but at the same time using your tail to bounce about instead of his feet… bit lazy isnt it? Aside from that hes a happy go lucky character with a lot of well bounce
Winnie the Pooh, is very thoughtful even though he may be a bit forgetful he never seems to forget where his honey is, yet he is slightly greedy in the fact that have you seen the amount of empty honey pots there are?!
Eeyore, the donkey,quite depressive and down very monotone voice and quite dull
Rabbit,the solution person who will work out problems slightly ocd and expects people to be more grown up
Owl, Not as wise as an owl should be

On top of that i couldnt find any of the episodes being shown and i didnt really do much else sorry this is crap.

Judgement Day


This blog was meant for Sunday but i was at work and then went out for a meal with family and yesterday i was  being a bum BUT i have been writing down my blogs so i can put them up here so technically im only being half a bum.

So Sunday was for me Judgement day. According to this website http://www.dayofjudgment.com/index1.html the day of Judgement is the final day of life on Earth and for the universe. But at the same time, it is the beginnning of the eternal life in the Hereafter. On that Day, people will be resurrected, created anew. Believers in Allah and the Hereafter will be hosted in Paradise, whereas unbelievers will be driven to hell…..
Well i’m still here so its not that type of judgement day. For me it where where i sit down and take a look at my life and what is happening in it, what needs to be changed what is good bla bla bla so this is what i wrote on my Judgement day.

As i chose it to be Judgement Day for me today ive had plenty to think about (especially as i had a 7 hour shift and i needed something to do before we watched Clerks II for the final few hours of our shift) and I have come to realise somethings that come monday (tomorrow) i will start to change…
On Monday my diet will start, I am going to make a healthy eating plan for the week and just start eating healthier seeing as i only have my part time crappy job im doing fuck all the other time so at least im getting something good in my body. As well as the healthy eating I will be doing fitness again and i will ache and i will probably want to stop but its not going to happen i have set myself a goal and im planning to stick to it. My appearance does mean a lot to me and i want to look good, of coure appearance isnt everything but in a day where most women are either size 0 or size elephant id rather be more towards the size 0 just in a healthier way.

Another thing is dreams and reality. This bit happens to be about a boy and i say boy because hes not worth being called a man. He knows my feelings towards him and takes advantage of this. He’l tell me sweet nothings and im putty in his hands, so when i sat down to think about these things today at work i came to a conclusion which i always knew but i guess i ignored. They really were sweet nothings and they are just empty words to make this girl who is lonely and self conscious feel like she’s somebody special. When i look at him i realise that there is a girl for him and its not me. There are men out there who are complete and utter assholes who give off this nice guy perception my ex was a perfect example of this type of person, (i say person because its not only men who are like this women can be too but their more bitchy than assholes) he would tell me anything i wanted to hear whilst he sponged off my generosity and took advantage of my devotion to him, being in a relationship obviously wasn’t the way he wanted to be and met up with apparently one other girl but he couldn’t grow a pair and tell me so he let the relationship fail and blamed me leaving me feeling that i was ruining things and struggling to make things better he lived knowing what he had done. But his sins found him out and hes gone and off with some young blue banana emo and to be honest she can have him. ANYWAYS off on a rant there.
I know some amazingly nice guys who struggle to get into a relationship and its because of these people. These men treat their girlfriends great and then badly but the girl cant get over how nicely he treated her and tries to stay with him in hope that hel treat her nice again, when he doesn’t and they break up the girl just ends up in a chain of relationships where the same things happen over and over again, why? because this is how they are used to being treated and someone treating them how they should be treated is just a pure shock to the system. These amazing guy friends that i have would treat a girl properly but arnt given the time of day and its a shame. Why dont i go out with one of them if their so nice? Slight problem, i get myself in a situation where i get so close with these guys i would never compromise a friendship that could be ruined with a relationship. I become so close with them their like family i dont think about them in that way and they dont think about me in that way either its just sort of an unwritten code i guess.

I’m just a girl.

I dont dress like a proper girly girl daily, I wear jeans and trainers to clubs, I can spend hours in the pub just hanging out with people. I love gigs and can handle myself in the pits, i fucking hate girls who make their boyfriends stay with them to ‘protect’ them because they cant handle it and complain their asses off when they are pushed or crushed. If you cant handle it get the fuck out and let someone who actually can take your place. I dont like boyfriends who get overly jealous I have mainly male friends who i will hug and dance with they treat me like family because they pretty much are theres nothing else.
If i can find someone who would…
*Actually accept me for me,
*realse i can look after myself,
*knows i will go out with a load of guys but come home to him
*Read me properly, if im sad givme me a hug or some affection dont sit there asking if im ok
*If i dont want to talk about it im not going to give me time and in return i will tell you when im ready
*Actually love me for me, not change me or get me to dress differently or more to their taste
*And finally see me as the only one, no other girls feel free to look but dont touch and ill return the favour
If i could find someone like that they i would do anything i could to keep him, but does that person truly exist or am i being picky?
This seems more like a lonely hearts collum thats no good!
Only time will tell so in whilst i spend my time searching for a place for me in life I will carry on celebrating national days and writing.

National Appreciate A Dragon Day


I hope everyone has appreciated a dragon today and if you havent why not? Dragons need love too you know! I did have a picture of me with my dragon but for some reason it wouldnt go upright so unfortunatly you are left with my single image of my dragon. I thought I would appreciate it by taking dusting it off and taking it to work so i can spread the word about it being national appreciate a dragon day.

I also planned to watch a dragon film such as Dragonheart or something of the like but im quite rubbish and didnt have any dragon films so instead it is Star Dust. I love fantasy films where the impossible is real such as stardust with the fairytale world and Underworld with the vampires and warewolves but a blog on my love of those films will be for another day. There are many choices to pick from with national days like Customer service day,Bald Eagle Appreciation day and Judgement day and a few others, but i have chosen JUDGEMENT DAY to be my  national day tomorrow, and tomorrow i will judge where my life is going and what i need to do to change it etc. and as it is a sunday i think that quite fitting.

Today i was going to talk about a particular person who i have had a soft spot for, for a very long time but i have decided that i will write about that tomorrow seeing at tomorrow will be my judgement day.

I am currently going through the trials and tribulations of booking a holiday with a good friend. The only problem is my friend can only get time off during half term so we are planning to go in April, my friend came on thursday and the plan was to spend the evening searching through holidays for April for a good deal of a holiday and book it but when my friend showed up she gave me the window of a hour as she had a date that night, it kinda put me in the situation where i had to think does my friend truly see me as a friend that she wants to go on holiday with or just a convience as she would also split her ‘precious’ time between me and someone she had never met before. Safe to say we never booked the holiday and she promised that she would come back the next day but she couldnt make it so now i will have to wait untill monday to hopefully book and holiday on monday. I was hoping that we would be able to go to Thailand but the prices are crazy i wouldnt mind going some time because i have always wanted to go to Tiger Temple but maybe if we go to Sri Lanka we may be able to go to the elephant orphanage or something, i would love to spend at least a week in the sun and possibly a week in the sun as well as doing a bit of sight seeing but only time will tell and come monday i will hopefully have a holiday booked!

But anyway tomorrow is judgement day and i will write about it then. Otherwise i have Star Dust on and i will watch it.

An Early Night For Me

Fetish day…not for me


Yet another day and another nightly blog…

Fetish day is today and i have to admit i didnt take part in it but i did find a particular image that linked today with the national rubber ducky day

a fetish duck yay!

When living in plymouth i used to watch Sexecetra with my housemates it was always something that we would watch and take the piss and be shocked at what some people have fetishes in! I mean everyone knows that there are rubber fetishes and then like bondage and sumbission and then the HORRIBLE fetish of feet, but we learnt that people can have like balloon fetishes and plushy (cuddly toys) fetishes. But thats the way people are and as long as it doesnt involve children and i dont have to see it or get involved i dont really care. Plus i really dont like feet! i cant even stand anyone touching my feet let alone wanting to lick them or anything EUGH!

ANYWAYS…

So today i didnt do loads of walking i dont feel bad about it much because i did do exorcise and i did do some walking and i did do some exorcise on my wii… although i duno if you can count that? Meh oh well. Ive had a lot on my mind of recently but luckily one thing has been cleared its just the million of other things to try and sort out.
Recently ive had a lot of people try and tell me what to do and its pretty much getting right on my nerves. I like to think of myself as confident when i want to be, quite bubbly and hyper but at the same time i can be serious and give advice when needed and things. I also believe that some things are private and should be left private, im the type of person who doesnt like to go round blabbing about my sex life and things like that i dont like to kiss and tell and i dont appreciate people telling me that because of the way i am it wont get me laid or anything like that and it does my nut.
I also have people telling me that if i wana find myself a bloke i need to get out there and do it, but its frustrating, i’m not in a situation where i am going out and meeting new people i know who i know and i know their friends and everything its tough. But im babbling and its not a good read when i blabber, too much word soup!

I put up yet another video

its not a vlog more just a montage of all the footage of me and my friends sledging in the snow even though we had it for like a few days and then it went.!

Ive just looked at the clock at its 12.24 i always start writing these on the right day and then people start talking to me and it always spills over to the next day!

So finally..tomorrow or today now is Appreciate a dragon day ill be blogging again and include a picture with my dragon!
Another day has finished and now another has begun lets see what tomorrow/today brings!

Part 2


Firstly i started this on the 14th but  took so long its now the 15th…youl still get one tomorrow tho!

So another blog to get my evening to a close. I hope everyone had a good time dressing their pets up i found some pretty insane choices people have chosen for their pets

Unfortunately mine wasnt even worth up because i couldnt find anything for my bunny i ended up putting sunglasses on her and a ring on her head to make it look like a crown…it was crap.

I have put a new video up on the tube

updates and telling people about snow, twitter and this website.

Recently ive been feeling pretty lost with myself, i dont know where im going or what is going to happen to me. Im really struggling to find a job where i can truly be happy, i have been to the job center and been told that media isnt a serious job for now so well put you down for retail work…thanks a bunch im gonna get far in life with your help. So im checkin the job site everyday and im trying to gather as much information about writing a personal statement so i can get them out asap and hopefully get at least some work experience, and at least keep things going. Staying at home is ok for so long now im pretty much sick of it, i dont get up till 10 dont get showered and changed by 12ish and then im stuck i try and do home jobs like emptying the dishwasher putting out the washing whatever but their pretty quick jobs and i can do them pretty quickly. I think i might try exorcising more getting out and taking walks might do me better and hopefully burn off some unwanted fat. Think tomorrow i will do that as well as book my car in for a service. Thats if the weathers ok to walk in otherwise i might half walk half bus lol. But then im in bed by 10/11 and then i wont get to sleep till 12/1 coz im reading or online then ill be thinking about loads and wont sleep properly. Its a vicious circle.

Ive started watching games im too scared to play bein played on youtube, how lame is that?! when i was with my ex i used to love to watch him play games like Bioshock and i loved it so i borrowed it from a housemate when i lived in plymouth, got in the underwater pod got into rapture and a splicer ran off and started whispering to me…that was it scared the shit out of me and i couldnt play it anymore. But i love watching people play it so the walk through on youtube is great for me lol, i have a fascination with this game in particular and duno why its the whole thing of how its supposed to be a reality but its totally twisted and i really like the tape recordings that you can pick up and hear different peoples stories i think thats great but i have no idea why lol. But as soon as its dark and i start hearing voices whispering and something jumps out it scares the shit out of me! im so lame.

So tomorrow is Humanitarian day or international fetish day…dont think ill be doing either really but ill definitely write another blog as its helping me loads!

my photo of the day today is…

This is me and my brother and sister in law at my brothers graduation two years ago, i like how i look there and since finding these its inspired me to grow my hair again and get myself right again. This is also aimed at my sister in law. Whenever i have a problem like i did today she helped me out and assured me that whatever happens she will try and help and she makes me feel welcome and i love her so much!
So tomorrow a new day, a new start and a new blog..See you then

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